I have been wearing this shirt for almost 3 years. These pics are about 2 years apart I think. This shirt is billowy and covers my bloating ( in the bottom pic is my lovely bloat on a good day). I won't buy new clothes unless absolutely neccessary because of my weight, (I'll wait til I get thin mentality), so I wear the same 5 things to work for years on end. The shirt is now too big. Three days ago I threw it in the back of my closet to be packed up in hopes of healing and not having to wear the billowy shirt to cover my swelling, but of wearing a billowy shirt if I choose to in the future because I like it and want it. :-)
I'm very reflective today. I'm noticing changes mentally and physically. Maybe spiritually... hmm... not sure there. There is a definite almost painful desire to be back with the giant redwoods and the rushing rivers I miss in Calif. This Sunday I'll be 1/3 of the way through this juicefeasting stage of my journey...30 days. And it seems like nothing. Not much detox to speak of, not much craving, It's getting easier each day, although I still have the occasional crying spell for no reason that makes my hubby cringe because he doesn't understand even though I try to explain it. I imagine he wishes I would just eat something sometimes! :-)
It's a small price for him to pay. Better to deal with some emotions than deal with them on top of cleaning out feeding tubes and paying huge medical bills. That is the prize I keep my focus on. If I can heal....completely...or mostly from this disease I wil be able to share something helpful that the medical community has no comprehension of. At least for some of the non-surgical patients.
I had a complete physical done a couple weeks ago and a consult with a nutritionist. The nutritionist was freaking out.
"You need a minimum of 60-75 grams of protein a day"
"I'm sorry but I will vomit it up." - I pick up my jar of juice and show it to her.
"You need a pre-albumin test. If it falls below 3.5 you will be mal-nourished from protein deficiency."
"Ok"
"You need at least 1500mg of dairy calcium"
"I'm sorry but I will vomit it up."
"Can you drink Ensure or Boost, or consume a protein powder?"
"I'm sorry but I will vomit it up."
"You need some nut or fish oils for calories and fat soluable vitamins"
"I am taking some oils with my juice" - She seems happy to have "won one"
"You need B-12"
"I am taking B-12" - She is sad and sighs.
"Crackers, grains, potatoes?"
"I'm sorry but I will vomit it up."
She looks genuinely sad. She thinks I'm going to end up in a very very bad place drinking my juice. She hands me her business card and wants to know how I'm doing at the end of my 92 days.
Then the doctor comes in. He knows me fairly well. He over-saw my wrist accident and hand therapy.
I tell him my story. I show him my juice. After all I couldn't leave it out in the car to get hot. He looks sad. He tells me that he has never seen somebody who's body is as sensitive as mine. His concern is genuine. I like him and have asked him to treat me before but he had to decline. My case is too complicated. He suggests I find a less stressful job. I wish he had hired me. He likes moose. I like moose. I might like it there.
He also wants me to contact him at the end of my juicefeast. He's not even my primary physician, but he is very concerned and wants to see what happens with me. I'm very eager to oblige both of them. :-)
66 days to go.......what a ride!
W:-)
I'm very reflective today. I'm noticing changes mentally and physically. Maybe spiritually... hmm... not sure there. There is a definite almost painful desire to be back with the giant redwoods and the rushing rivers I miss in Calif. This Sunday I'll be 1/3 of the way through this juicefeasting stage of my journey...30 days. And it seems like nothing. Not much detox to speak of, not much craving, It's getting easier each day, although I still have the occasional crying spell for no reason that makes my hubby cringe because he doesn't understand even though I try to explain it. I imagine he wishes I would just eat something sometimes! :-)
It's a small price for him to pay. Better to deal with some emotions than deal with them on top of cleaning out feeding tubes and paying huge medical bills. That is the prize I keep my focus on. If I can heal....completely...or mostly from this disease I wil be able to share something helpful that the medical community has no comprehension of. At least for some of the non-surgical patients.
I had a complete physical done a couple weeks ago and a consult with a nutritionist. The nutritionist was freaking out.
"You need a minimum of 60-75 grams of protein a day"
"I'm sorry but I will vomit it up." - I pick up my jar of juice and show it to her.
"You need a pre-albumin test. If it falls below 3.5 you will be mal-nourished from protein deficiency."
"Ok"
"You need at least 1500mg of dairy calcium"
"I'm sorry but I will vomit it up."
"Can you drink Ensure or Boost, or consume a protein powder?"
"I'm sorry but I will vomit it up."
"You need some nut or fish oils for calories and fat soluable vitamins"
"I am taking some oils with my juice" - She seems happy to have "won one"
"You need B-12"
"I am taking B-12" - She is sad and sighs.
"Crackers, grains, potatoes?"
"I'm sorry but I will vomit it up."
She looks genuinely sad. She thinks I'm going to end up in a very very bad place drinking my juice. She hands me her business card and wants to know how I'm doing at the end of my 92 days.
Then the doctor comes in. He knows me fairly well. He over-saw my wrist accident and hand therapy.
I tell him my story. I show him my juice. After all I couldn't leave it out in the car to get hot. He looks sad. He tells me that he has never seen somebody who's body is as sensitive as mine. His concern is genuine. I like him and have asked him to treat me before but he had to decline. My case is too complicated. He suggests I find a less stressful job. I wish he had hired me. He likes moose. I like moose. I might like it there.
He also wants me to contact him at the end of my juicefeast. He's not even my primary physician, but he is very concerned and wants to see what happens with me. I'm very eager to oblige both of them. :-)
66 days to go.......what a ride!
W:-)
No comments:
Post a Comment